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CG Main => Way Off Topic Box => Topic started by: UnknownError on April 13, 2013, 11:39:13 PM

Title: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 13, 2013, 11:39:13 PM
Neltharion: How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?
Neltharion: Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Neltharion: *Leaves*

I <3 you, Nel.



Yeah just post your bad jokes here. So we can all laugh at how awesomely lame you really are.   smug
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Cadaver on April 13, 2013, 11:42:37 PM
Why did the hipster eat the pizza hot out of the oven?
Cause he wanted to eat it before it was cool...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Muffins on April 13, 2013, 11:44:01 PM
I would tell a joke but all my jokes are racist :P. And what exactly is the point of this thread? To tell bad jokes are for you just to show everyone what neltharion said?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: holydeath98 on April 13, 2013, 11:46:40 PM
Why did the hipster eat the pizza hot out of the oven?
Cause he wanted to eat it before it was cool...

How do you kill a hipster?
Drown him in the main stream
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AbkaFlab on April 13, 2013, 11:50:31 PM
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.  Meme9
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Mr_Rainbow on April 14, 2013, 12:03:31 AM
Don't click this if you don't like MJ jokes.

Why did Michael Jackson die? Kyron fought back.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 14, 2013, 12:18:58 AM
What does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Mr_Rainbow on April 14, 2013, 12:22:45 AM
An older man walks into a bar wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 14, 2013, 01:19:13 AM
Why did the gofler wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AlphaWeeaboo on April 14, 2013, 01:20:49 AM
What happened to the kid who got ran over by a car?

he got tired

What happened after he got ran over?

he was exhausted



eh???? get it????
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: mjb627 on April 14, 2013, 01:27:10 AM
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?
Cancer

Those are some anti jokes I know.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 14, 2013, 01:36:47 AM
Why did the girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus.


I think I like this thread.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Sniper no Sniping on April 14, 2013, 01:45:11 AM
Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree?

-It died.

Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?

-It was nailed to the first one

Why did the kid fall off his bike?

-He was hit by falling koalas.

Also I think Animeme does a good job at this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0XhjExP5Ik
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 14, 2013, 02:23:15 AM
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!"

Argon doesn't react.

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Whoa, no, that's a hardware problem.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Tyber on April 14, 2013, 02:26:13 AM
One day Unknown had a thought

That's impossible, unknown doesn't think.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 14, 2013, 02:39:39 AM
What did the psychiatrist say to the naked man that walks into his office?

I can see you're nuts!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Mr_Rainbow on April 14, 2013, 04:13:34 AM
(joke)
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Leetgrain on April 14, 2013, 04:24:01 AM
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe Who?
No, YOU'RE a poo!

What's wrong with us.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: oobla37 on April 14, 2013, 05:47:51 AM
Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gasses here!"

Argon doesn't react.

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Whoa, no, that's a hardware problem.

Oh, I tell chemical jokes

periodically

Why should you not trust anything an atom says?

because they make up everything!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Cortez (Mr. T. FOO!) on April 14, 2013, 11:17:46 AM
This is great and should be sticked xD
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 14, 2013, 01:42:21 PM
What is Homer Simpson’s favorite ice cream?

Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!


Which video game system is always late for school?

Atardi
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Sniper no Sniping on April 14, 2013, 01:44:13 PM
What's wrong with CG?

Everything
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 14, 2013, 03:07:35 PM
Why did Old Crow climb the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side.  trollface
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: (QC) Spell Bound on April 14, 2013, 04:07:35 PM
They've just found a Mummy in Egypt that's covered in chocolate and peanuts.

Apparently he was called Pharoah Rocher.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 14, 2013, 05:07:39 PM
What type of fruit is unable to have a spontaneous wedding?

A Cantaloupe!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 14, 2013, 05:42:35 PM
How does a man on a moon get his haircut?

Eclipse it.

What did the moron do when he thought he might be dying?

He went into the living room


Why couldn't the shoes go out and play?
They were all tied up.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on April 16, 2013, 06:18:42 PM
Why didn't the grizzly wear any shoes?
He wanted to go bear foot.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Dante on April 16, 2013, 11:32:37 PM
What is a Illeagal?

A sick Eagle.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Muffins on April 20, 2013, 03:42:00 PM
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Kacey on April 21, 2013, 01:26:45 AM
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?

I can't peanut butter my penis into you.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Leetgrain on April 21, 2013, 09:19:42 AM
What's the best kind of bread?
Wholegrain

Why is the sea cold?
Because I didn't put the hot water on

Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Acebombastic on April 21, 2013, 04:36:17 PM
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?

They were my friends.  :'(
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Blackllama on April 21, 2013, 05:29:49 PM
Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says...

"How do you drive this thing"

Two soldiers in a tank, one turns to the other and says.

"Arghablublughabu"
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Live Bait on April 27, 2013, 09:44:40 PM
One day at the bank, Loan Officer Patricia Whack got an interesting customer.
Kermit the Frog had walked in and up to her desk!
He asked if he could borrow $10,000.
Ms. Whack asked, "Do you have any collateral?"
Kermit replies, "I have this ceramic elephant. And my father happens to be Mick Jagger."
Ms. Whack says, "Hold on here for a bit. I'll be right back."
Going up to her boss, she asked, "What is this thing?" handing the elephant to him.
He says, tossing it back to her, "It's a Knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone."
 trollface
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Jorgen on April 27, 2013, 10:33:04 PM
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on what you use to smosh them with


What's better than a dead baby?

10 dead babies


How do you get a sweed down from a flag pole?

Tell a joke so he claps


I was going to tell a joke that could be considered racist but no not gonna do it


How many women do you need to fix a dead lightbulb?

1 to call a man to do it


Why are women bad at driving?

I don't know ask the asians, they seem to have the same problem

God my jokes are awful /thread

Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Mr_Rainbow on April 27, 2013, 11:51:25 PM
Jokes.


Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: mjb627 on April 28, 2013, 12:53:55 AM
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: raddude-pancake ruler on April 28, 2013, 01:24:46 AM
hey girl let me clean off your seat for you
*Wipes face with cloth*
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: UnknownError on May 19, 2013, 03:48:55 PM
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: raddude-pancake ruler on May 19, 2013, 07:00:03 PM
bad pickup line
is your name google?

because you've got everything im looking for
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: CashPrizes on May 20, 2013, 02:42:43 PM
Time for a kid-friendly joke that is the BEST and makes sense.

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?

... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ...
... ... ...
... ...
...
A SLOWPOKE!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Leetgrain on May 20, 2013, 04:54:28 PM
What kind of vegetable grows on your head and fingers?

Carrotin
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Finniespin on November 28, 2013, 01:50:14 PM
2 guys walked in bar.

I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mum's a whore.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Tyber on November 28, 2013, 01:56:55 PM
Your mamma's so hairy, they had to film "Godzilla in the mist" in her shower.

What do you call a black man selling drugs?
A pharmacist. Racist bastard.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Old Crow on November 29, 2013, 03:58:40 AM
I once had a bird named Enza.

I opened the window, and in-flu-enza.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Leetgrain on November 29, 2013, 05:52:09 AM
Want to hear a really bad joke?

Get some fiber wire and strangle someone.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Dinomoto on December 16, 2013, 09:29:31 AM
The bible
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Finniespin on December 16, 2013, 10:47:50 AM
The Khuran (or how ever you spell it)

Might cause more stirs. But since this is a western orientated gaming community. I'd say yea the bible is more affective.

INB4 mod deletes post.

Global Moderator Comment Can we maybe not go here? I'd advise you don't.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Leetgrain on December 16, 2013, 11:52:03 AM
Guys...
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: holydeath98 on December 16, 2013, 01:19:41 PM
My report card
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Christovski on December 16, 2013, 01:59:04 PM
Guys...

That's sexist saying all guys are really bad jokes ban plz

xD
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Old Crow on December 16, 2013, 02:49:41 PM
What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Dinomoto on December 16, 2013, 05:28:32 PM
Guys...

What?  trollface
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: BladeTwinSwords on December 16, 2013, 05:37:39 PM
Every pun by Lone.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Fluffalupagus on December 16, 2013, 07:08:09 PM
Dead baby joke warning, don't get angry with me. trollface

What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that?
The one of the bottom is alive, what's worse than that?
He has to eat his way out. What's worse than that?
He comes back for seconds.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Weazel on December 16, 2013, 07:32:56 PM
Why'd the turkey cross the road?













to prove he wasnt chicken
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: AlphaWeeaboo on December 16, 2013, 10:56:36 PM
These are terrible, even for terrible jokes. If that makes any sense.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: raddude-pancake ruler on December 16, 2013, 11:54:35 PM
The bible
dont say the bible is a joke it's my favorite collection of fairy tales.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Wervelf on March 07, 2014, 04:21:39 AM
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Milkman007 on March 07, 2014, 08:14:27 PM
What's the difference between a bucket of onions and a bucket of babies?

I cry when I Chop up the onions
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Aleksandr Suvorov07 on March 07, 2014, 08:32:02 PM
How big is this bucket?  trollface
Title: Re: Really Bad Jokes
Post by: Futeko on March 12, 2014, 10:30:41 PM
Why do astronomers call the Sun a star when it's clearly circle-shaped?
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